Joy Joy Joy

There used to be a song that was often sung around the campfire at church camps and other places with a line that went "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy - Down in my heart - Down in my heart to stay."  I don't know how I got that in my head.  I must have joy in my heart!

What brings you joy?  I've asked that question here before but think about it for a moment once again.  There are tons of answers to the question.  There really isn't a wrong answer.  What brings you joy might not bring me joy.  Does some of your own joy come in the giving too?  So how can a feeling of great pleasure and happiness be felt by those around you?  What can you do to share the joy?  Do you every purposely try to fill others with joy and happiness?

For me joy is pretty awesome but like with this blog, it's NOT about me and it's not just about my joy alone.  I really am most joyful when I am surrounded by other joyful people.  Seems pretty obvious what we need to do then.  We need to spread the joy, especially during these difficult times!

Did you ever know that you're my hero

Remember when Bette Midler sang "Did you ever know that you're my hero"?  The song is Wind Beneath My Wings and numerous other artists recorded it, but the point I want to make is regarding its lyrics.  I think it is talking about a friend or relative, someone who is special and whom she considers her hero and her idol. There is nothing wrong with a little hero worship and I think everyone should have someone like she does!

 

A few months before my mother died, I was helping her set up a new telephone lifeline system and, as a backup password, they wanted to know the name of her hero.  Without hesitation Mom said "Dad," meaning her father.  How wonderful that long after he had died, my mother still looked at her father as her hero.

 

I write here often of people we might consider heroes.  Some are well known, and some are folks that would only be known within their community.  What is it that make them a hero though and has anyone ever encouraged them to continue that behavior?  One of the things I like about that Bette Midler song is that it seems to be addressed directly to her hero.  How wonderful!  Let that person know what you think of them.  Oh they my blush and even say "aw shucks!" but acknowledging good behavior only encourages more of it, and that certainly can't be a bad thing!

National Honor Our LGBT Elders Day

Today is National Honor Our LGBT Elders Day, a time to recognize and celebrate the contributions and struggles of older LGBTQ+ individuals who paved the way for equality and social acceptance.

Remembering our past is always a good thing, especially when we honor those who paved the way.  Get involved, if you aren't already.

There are a whole bunch of ways to honor LGBTQ+ elders. Use social media to show support, possibly changing your cover of profile picture to honor LGBTQ elders. Spend some time with these longtime activists and listen to their stories to preserve their history and wisdom. Consider volunteering with organizations that provide support, advocacy, or companionship for older LGBTQ+ adults.  Maybe make a contribution to the Rainbow Honor Walk.

As we honor our LGBTQ+ elders, let us continue the work they have begun and build on it for future generations.

Pie

Each year on the third Friday in May, millions of pizza lovers across the nation join in extolling the qualities of pizza on National Pizza Party Day. After all, is a party really a party without a good old pizza pie?

Today also happens to be Chocolate Chip Day. Seriously. I don't make this up! Now you might think of chocolate chips as only being in cookies, but you would be missing out. I once had a chocolate chip pie that was incredible.

National Apple Pie Day was Wednesday. (We sure celebrate food a lot). If anyone has a slice of apple pie left, it's okay to continue the celebration today. If you prefer, make a nice berry pie.

Perhaps at this point you think I have gone crazy.  Why all this pie talk?  The thing is, we need more happiness in our world.  For some folks that means pie.  Whether or not you are a dessert eater, go out today and find something that makes you happy, and if it happens to be pie, what a tasty way to be happy!

last request

Do you ever read the obituaries in the newspaper? Sometimes they can be humorous and sometimes they simply gave details of someone's life. Lately though I have come across several that are very inspiring, not just because of the life that had been led, but because of a last request.  There was a wonderful obituary a newspaper last week that brought me to tears.  A brother wrote some very touching words about his sister who had lived with cerebral palsy.  "I wish I could have made you laugh one more time," he wrote.

Frequently in obituaries there will be an "in lieu of flowers" statement, that directs folks to a charity that is significant to the deceased.  I also have seen some very nice "last requests."  In telling of one man who had recently passed away, the obituary said that one of his last wishes was for any person reading the obituary to perform a good deed in his honor for someone that they may have had friction with or disliked. Wow! Someone wanted to continue the love even after they were gone. How wonderful. How many people did a good deed in his honor? There is of course no way to know, but what a wonderful idea!

Maybe this will inspire folks reading this to make other last requests. What would you want your legacy to be? How would you like to be an inspiration to strangers, even after you are gone?  Of course, estate planning is another way to help those who come after you while also keeping your name alive.

Givers and Takers

There are two kinds of people in this world:  givers and takers.  It is very likely that the takers eat better, but I am absolutely certain that the givers sleep better!  (Someone, Marlo Thomas I think, said that before).

 

I am so blessed to know many, many givers!  I definitely am acquainted with more givers than takers.  How wonderful, huh?

 

In the Acts of the Apostles, Saint Paul tells us to "remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

 

I would add that being givers is certainly wonderful, but there are times when we have to let others give to us.  It is certainly not a bad thing to graciously accept a gift.

Flowerful days

Who can look at a colorful bunch of flowers and not be happy?  There is something very cheery about the image whether it is in a cut floral arrangement or a garden in back of our house or a pretty planting by the side of the street we are walking on.  Flowers are happy images.

 

I'll bet you cannot tell me every place where there is a flower between your home and your workplace.  Can you think where the closest garden is to where you are right now?  How about a florist - do you know where there is one?  Even our parks are places where there are beautiful flowers and plants for us to enjoy.

 

If you are at a reception or at a church service or at a funeral or a wedding, do you notice the flowers that might be around you?  People place them there for a reason.  Flowers brighten up our lives!  Take notice of them and be happy.

hello? anybody out there?

Who reads this stuff?  I wonder that a lot.  It was never my purpose to have tons of daily readers and to receive so many comments and so much email that I could not keep up with it, but the fact is, I get only about two or three comments a month.  This makes me wonder is there anybody out there?

Part of my wondering of course is to see if this is all going in a good direction.  I want to make a difference in the lives of others.  I want to encourage other people to make a difference in their various ways.  I want to light a fire or put some fuel on an already lit fire and see how great we can make this world of ours.  If we all contribute, there is nothing that cannot be accomplished!  There is so much good in the world and I am always encouraged when I see that good.  I am also personally encouraged when I hear that people read these words and that it has some kind of meaning for them.  Please feel free to make suggestions too.

Next month is LGBTQ+ Pride Month and now more than ever we need positive reinforcement, so I will most likely be writing on that subject a lot. Since you just made it through these three paragraphs, why not take a second and say something in the comments area below.  Is there some way of giving back that you think I should be talking about?  Tell me!  Do you know a giver that perhaps I should profile here?  Tell me!  Do you think I need to change my focus or say more (or less) about something?  Tell me!  I really would love to hear from you.

Spreading out the love

Today is Mother's Day in the US and some other parts of the world. I'm thinking of my mom, as I do just about every day, and I hope you will be thinking about yours, whether she is living or deceased.

Some folks don't have good relationships with their mothers, but if that is the case, take a moment to think of her anyway. Is there anything you can do to improve the relationship? It seems that Mothers Day would be an excellent day to begin.

I'm sure there will be huge crowds at restaurants on Sunday, especially at the ones doing something for the moms. Cards, and gifts, and sometimes even breakfast in bed - all kinds of attention. How wonderful, huh? 

 What has always bothered me though is when all the attention is focused on one day. The same is true for birthdays, anniversaries, and many other occasions. There will be lots of celebrating on that one day, and the rest of the time a person might be virtually ignored. Wouldn't it be nice if Mom got a little more attention at other times of the year.  I'm reminded of a song from the old Captain Kangaroo tv show, "It's Another Be Good To Mommy Day."

I have a friend who lives far from her mother and they only see each other a few times a year, but every single Saturday there is a telephone conversation. They both set aside time on that one day to connect with each other.

Spreading out the love throughout the year is a good goal to have not only for our mothers, but for other relatives and friends as well. Make regular lunch dates, or phone time, or share activities at random times all through your life!

Too Big

The whole task - the "making change in the world" idea - some may just shrug their shoulders and say "It's too big"! How often have we heard that? There is so much to do. How can one person make a difference? With that "it's too big" attitude, we are counting ourselves out even before we begin. It's the little things though that really can make a difference. Certainly, we can all do some little thing! 

It was Mother Teresa (now recognized as a saint) who said "If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." She certainly got that one right!

Don't worry if you don't have tons of time or tons of money. Give what you are able to give. That's the key.  If we each give back something - anything, it really will make a difference! Give a few minutes of your time. Put a sign up in your window.  Donate cash or clothing.

In the familiar Bible story of the loaves and fishes feeding the five thousand, we always assume that Jesus created more food. What if it was a different kind of miracle? What if Jesus made us do the work that he knew were capable of doing? If some of the people had brought food with them, even if just a tiny snack, then they could have combined that and everyone could have been fed. Now I know some of you might not like me suggesting that a popular Scripture happened a little differently than we have always thought, but consider it for a moment. The crowd was too big to be fed by the small amount of food they knew they had. Jesus was not worried at all though. Very much the same as now. We ask God for more food or more money or a better job. Perhaps when we achieve these things it is because he led us to our own accomplishment.

If we all do a little - if we all do what we can, it will make a difference. Nothing is too big when everyone pitches in!

Live for something greater

Just what does it mean to live for something greater?  Think about it for a moment.  Are we talking about great accomplishments?  Are we talking about a greater power?  Are we talking about a set of values?  What do you think?

 

I write a lot about hometown heroes and to me, those are the folks who live for something greater.  It might not have been something they thought about or planned, but by their actions or by their words, they made a difference and it was something that endures.

 

Do you want you live to be infancy, school, work, retirement, and then death with no great milestones along the way?  Well most of us don't.  It's human nature to do new things and along the way to become more and more popular and to have more and more friends.  Although we know we cannot live forever, many of us want something we do or say to last beyond our time on this earth.  That's what motivates them to do great things.

 

The motivations can be many.  There need not be just one answer to my above questions.  How about if we all strive to live for something greater!

Buddy can you spare a dime?

There probably aren't many of you who can remember all the way back to the 1932 song Buddy can you spare a dime, even though it was recorded by a number of different people. Perhaps you have been asked if you could spare a dime by someone on the street. Most who ask for a specific amount, are very willing to accept ANY amount. Being in need, is not a good thing, whether you are an individual, an entire family, or an organization trying to help others. They need donations, and they need them from us.

Does our donation have to be that dime? Oh no! We might not be much better off than they are. The list though of things we might donate really is endless. Sometimes when we think of giving, we divide into categories such as time, talent, and treasure. The treasure grouping is the one that gets the most attention. Give some money - the more the better. Our treasure might also include donations of used clothing or housewares or canned goods (to a food drive) or a car (many charities now look for used cars or even boats). Artwork might also be part of this list, and books too.

Donating our talent is a very valuable thing too. This is true whether your talent is taking blood pressures or giving tax advice or reading to children. Sometimes doing yard work or light cleaning can be a huge help to individuals in need.

Donating your time is another wonderful thing. Can you spend a few hours helping out in the office of our non-profit? Can you come in one day and help hand out bags of groceries? That yard work I mentioned - is it talent or time (or maybe both)?

Offer help in whatever way you can, even if it's just making friendly phone calls to check on the wellbeing of your neighbors.  As I have mentioned here a lot, giving takes many forms. Buddy, can you spare some time? Buddy, can you spare a dime? Giving in all its forms, is such a rewarding thing to do! 

The Wish

When you were little, did you ever make a wish and then blow on the dandelion to see if your wish would come true?  Perhaps you looked up at the night sky and made a wish on the first star you saw or before blowing out the candles on your birthday cake, hoped for something.  We have all made wishes at some time or another.  Some of us spend our whole lives wishing.

Do you wish that wars would disappear?  We ALL do!  Do you wish there was an easy solution?  Do you wish for different leaders?  Do you wish things were being handled differently?  Make a wish, and then make it happen.  We all can do our part.
 

Tossing a coin into a fountain or breaking the wishbone of a cooked turkey may be fun to do, but I happen to think that wishes are good things and that they all can come true, wish a little help.  That's the important part - the little help.  Sometimes we help ourselves fulfill our dreams and our hopes - you might actually think of them as goals.  Sometimes we can help others with their wishes like when you donate to charities.  The Make-A-Wish Foundation helps make some wishes come true, but I'm really talking about dreams we ALL have.  We wish and then sit back doing nothing more sometimes.  What we need to do is wish and then make that wish a reality.

 

Difficult?  Well yes.  Sometimes it is difficult.  Life isn't always easy, but anything really worth having is worth working for!  So, don't give up on that wish.  Make it come true!

The Month of May

I will resist any cute references to Cinco de Mayo and this morning. Yesterday I didn't even say "May the fourth be with you." There are a lot of observances this month and I hope you will enjoy at least some of them.

135 years ago today, Carnegie Hall in New York City held its grand opening with the great Russian composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky as guest conductor. Also on this date, in 1942 Tammy Wynette was born. In 1956, Elvis Presley had the number one hit, 'Heartbreak Hotel.'

It's not just music on this date. 65 years ago today, Alan Shepard became the second person, and first American to depart the Earth, making it to low-Earth orbit in his capsule called Freedom 7. It was really a big deal back then.

There have been so many great moments on the fifth of May throughout the years.  We can add to it of course.  We can go out and do something great!

desired things

The 1927 poem, Desiderata (Latin for desired things) by American writer Max Ehrmann, has long been a favorite of mine. I've mentioned it here before. Since I desire happiness for everyone and I desire that everyone realize his or her importance, it seemed fitting and proper to mention this wonderful prose once again on this Monday morning. It being in the public domain, I'd actually just like to print it here for you all to ponder and enjoy:

 

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

 

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

 

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

 

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

 

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

 

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

 

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

 

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

 

                                                                                                                -Max Ehrmann

I wish you enough

This story was recently shared with me by a friend. I found it very powerful and asked if I might share it further with all of you.

Recently overheard was a father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.'

They kissed and the daughter left. The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'

'I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral,' he said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'

He began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.'

He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.' Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

He then began to cry and walked away.

Again, not my words, but a message I thought we all could benefit from.  They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

Do you need a compass?

What do I do? Where shall I go? What comes next? Does my life have any sort of purpose of direction? Well, if you are asking yourself these questions, it's a good thing. Every once in a while, it is important for each of us to take stock of ourselves and look not only at where we have been, but where we are going. Sometimes change is a good idea. Do you need some help? Do you need a compass? There is nothing wrong with reaching out to others to try to decide your path.

 

Family and friends can be a great resource in helping to determine with way to go.  When a loss within your family has gotten you asking these questions, it might be even more important to lean on each other, so to speak.  They are not the only resource though.  Some of us have tons of friends and great big families.  Others are a bit more alone.  There are professionals who also can be of great benefits.  Counselors, clergy, health care workers, attorneys, teachers, and others might help guide you when you find yourself questioning what comes next.  Getting involved in support groups can sometimes be of benefit too.

 

The library used to be a great place for finding information.  It still is, of course, but now we also have the internet where we can find answers to our questions in seconds.  Sometimes these answers are all we need as our compass.

 

Nobody should ever have to go through life feeling lost or confused.  Life is more than just being alive, and we all have a purpose.  Find yours.  Life will be so much richer once you know the path you are taking!

colored water

I can remember as a youngster being in the supermarket with my mom and seeing the drinking fountains (remember them?) labeled "white" and "colored." I had no idea this was racial - I thought the water was white or colored! Naturally I wanted to drink the colored one. A woman witnessed this and scolded my mother for letting me drink where "those people" had put their mouths. My mother explained it all later, but it was several years later before I really understood.

Or do I understand? Why should someone drink from a certain fountain and not from another, just because of their race? Well, the answer of course is that they shouldn't. Separate drinking fountains are illegal now, but sadly, we still have racial prejudice - I see examples most every day even now in 2026.

The whole drinking water thing apparently hit home with many.  Diane Bass, the mother of entertainer Lance Bass, wrote an essay several years ago which I just read the other day and in it she recalls her drinking fountain moment.  With her grandmother screaming at her to stop drinking from the "wrong" fountain, Bass writes "When I looked at the fountain it had the word "Colored" on it and she told me I had to drink out of another one. I was only 6 years old but I knew something was just not right about that."

Many of my friends are Asian and one time I was out with several other guys, all of whom are Asian. A group of white guys came upon us and started yelling at me "Why aren't you with your own kind?" They even chased after us, and since we were outnumbered, their senseless prejudice was not in the forefront of our minds - we simply wanted to get out of there safely.

I see the same kind of bias against lgbtq people often. I've been very fortunate and haven't been the victim of individual attacks, but all the laws that ban same sex marriage or that allow prejudice against lgbtq people in the workplace or anywhere else, are certainly attacks. They are saying I am not quite as good as someone else.

In all my years and will all that I have seen, the prejudicial treatment of people based on their membership - or perceived membership - in a certain group or category, just doesn't make sense to me, and yet it continues.

Is a world with true equality too much for me to hope for? Can we put aside all prejudice and discrimination? Will bigotry ever be completely erased? What do YOU think?